In an amazing turn of events, CanoniSpire has merged with Novell, Red Hat, and Microsoft to form NovellHatSoft-CanoniSpire. The new conglomerate will produce Winux, a proprietary, Linux-based, Windows lookalike, which will come without the security flaws common to Windows.
NovellHatSoft-CanoniSpire has been lobbying congress to pass a "software rights management act" which will assign copyright for the Linux kernel and GNU utils to a new "GPLv0," which will be a non-viral, BSD-type license, written by the newly employed RMS, who accepted a job offer from the company this morning.
Canonical founder Mark Shuttleworth said "Finally, we have a Free Software solution which can challenge desktop Windows. Well, at least we have a Free Software-based solution which can challenge SnApple's new SolariMac Desktop," referring to the merger of Sun Microsystems and Apple Computer.
Steve Ballmer, who just hours ago had joined the Linux Foundation and was claiming to have accepted surrender, said he was "glad that the merger is under way," and hopes "to see it carried out to its logical conclusion by a Winux Vista release this summer."
Linus Torvalds was unavailable for comment.